Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don`t get her a bathroom scale. Just sayin"
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
I’m mad, but not as mad as someone asking to see the rules in the middle of a monopoly game.
When I say "It’s a long story," it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Isn`t it weird that a vacuum cleaner isn`t something that is used to clean vacuums?