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A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I`d go to hell for.
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
I didn’t give you the finger...you earned it.
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’m gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, he’s under a blanket.”
There`s no way that whatever mothballs prevent is worse than the smell of mothballs.
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.