Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
Did I ever tell you about my old girlfriend? The one with the "Lazy Eye"? I had to break up with her, she was seeing somebody on the side..........................
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
Today, my wife asked "would you still love me if I was ugly and fat." "Yes, honey I do." was not the right answer.
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.