Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it requires pants, its not happening today.
"Man, you know your bible verses forwards and backwards" - said no one ever
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
Global warming is now thought to be a leading cause of documentaries.
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?