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"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
Lord, if I can`t be skinny, make my friends look fat.
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but I’ll settle for some bacon.
I’m gonna have to get new pets, I’m running out of passwords.
My neighbors look at me in a very weird way.. it’s like they never saw a guy with binoculars before.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
I once ran a Half Marathon. Well, I say that because it sounds better than saying I collapsed and almost died halfway through a Full Marathon.
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.