Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never really know how many inches you`re gonna get or how long it`ll last. Snow, maybe.
They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
I`m introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
My mother in law called me today and said? ”Come quick. I think I’m dying” I said, ”Call me back when you’re sure”.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?
My ex-wifes facebook status said "I`m depressed and on the edge"... So I poked her!
Facebook should make it to where it says, `Went from being in a relationship` to `Problem solved.`