Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing says you`re ugly like Facebook asking, "are you sure you want to make this your profile picture ?"
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.
Laughter is the best medicine but if you are laughing without any reason, I think you need medicine
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
I like how Reese`s come with two peanut butter cups in the package. That way I can eat one now and then the other one right afterwards.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
My ice bucket challenge: 1. Buy bucket 2. Add ice 3. Add 12 beers 4. Sign into FB and drink
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.