Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet you $567.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
Have you hugged you bartender today.
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
?-- that guy is cute ?
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
I just read that burglars use Facebook to see when people aren’t home. So from now on, I’m at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
funny status idea: a funny and popular one