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I just found out that checking your credit score actually LOWERS your credit rating. Seriously? That`s like every time you look in the mirror, you get a little bit uglier.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
Nothing like calling off work and watching porn all morning.
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
Well, the people outside are frightful.
I’m just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.
Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don`t have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point
I end a sentence with `just saying` because ending with `dumba$$` would be offensive.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you?