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For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
i hate that the sun comes up so early