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Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
Whole Foods added a 10 items or less checkout line.... *as if anyone can afford to buy more than 10 items at a Whole Foods.
You know what`s beautiful? Read the first word again.
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
I feel like I`ve passed my "Best If Used By date."
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.
Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don`t cut it.
You can`t run from your problems. unless your fat.