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You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
You call it being sober. I call it on my way to the liquor store.
By the power vested in me and by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for the people who used to beat up the people who played Dungeons and Dragons.
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!