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If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious… I’d wonder who the f&*k was paying me, and why?
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.