Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
Saw a midget go into a store while wearing a KKK outfit and thought... That`s a little racist.
I`m not sure what my spirit animal is, but I`m sure it has Rabies.
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not get caught.
Choosing A Career Is Like Chosing A Wife From 10 Girls. Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful, Intelligent, Kindest Woman, There`s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
I’m going to start wearing Summer’s Eve as a cologne. The vast majority of beautiful women seem to be attracted to douches.
Just called my own voicemail and left messages until the memory was full. People can`t leave messages now. That`s the kind of genius I am.
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.