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Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
Forget the hero part, I just like the fact that Batman punches clowns.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Okay so the pregnant woman in the library didn`t get my `overdue` joke.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
After committing a crime, always carry a fire extinguisher. No one gets stopped while running with a fire extinguisher.
I don`t understand why you guys complain about never being able to finish a tube of chapstick, it usually only takes me 2 or 3 bites.
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.