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I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
One of the first things they tell you in AA is to stop hanging around alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
is available for rebound sex.
I really hate it when someone else creates something that I haven`t had the chance to think of first...
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
I’m just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
A woman saying "I`m not mad at you" is like a dentist saying "You won`t feel a thing."
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper