Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn`t quite finished...
Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
A slug is just a divorced snail.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
Is it even possible to calmly walk away from a dark basement?
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".