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It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
When my girlfriend texted me "I`m enjoying 5 guys in bed" I was quite surprised to arrive and find no hamburgers
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
If it`s alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.