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I`m surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn`t incorporated into more American Holidays.
I hope I never have to run for my life. It wouldn’t end well.
Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
Sometimes, I like to stalk random strangers vacation pic`s, and tag myself as one of the people in the background just for laughs.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
I`m so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....