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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
You make me want to be a drunker person
I`d love to have a sex change. Preferably from `none` to `absolutely sh!tloads`.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(