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I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
Cool things about being a turtle: 1. Born with a free house attached to you 2. Super chill 3. Could potentially mutate into a ninja
You are the pebble in my shoe of people
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
The problem with alcohol is that... it wears off.
If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
Tried to make a stew and accidentally summoned a demon again.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.