Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn`t going according to plan.
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.