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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
I just want someone who will love me for the a$$hole that I am ;)
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
Next time you are in a restaurant, give this a thought. The fork you are using has been in the mouth of hundreds of people. Now look at the people eating right by you. Scary, right?
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
As a nation, we may be spending our children`s money, but at my house, it`s the other way around.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.
Hello, fire department? Is this Mr. February? Yeah, I`m stuck in a tree. Uh, I mean... meooow.