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Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: "I`ll just flip this omelette"
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
People don`t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.