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A stranger at Walmart just coughed in my face, so I`ve probably only got two, maybe three, days to live.
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
Why procrastinate today when you can procrastinate tomorrow?
Of course morning sex is better. You haven`t spent the day annoying the crap out of each other yet.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.