Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
So long pants! See you Monday!
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?