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Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
Don`t act like your not impressed.
I love water. Especially when it`s frozen and surrounded by vodka.
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
Hey guys with your phone in a hip holster, is it because your purse is too full with tampons?
When I die, bury me with a pack of smokes, no light. Where I`m going, there will have plenty of free fires to light from.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."
What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...
Day 10: I am thankful there are only 20 days left for all my friends to be thankful about how awesome their lives are.
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.