Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
Long story short, I love summaries.
When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone’s numbers again, I text them: β€œGuess who?” for 2 weeks.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
Helpful Tip: Dont laugh when the cop says penal system ... oh and I need bail money again.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
is procastinating now. DonΒ΄t see why I should put it off.
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world...
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?