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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
When your mother asks you if you`re sexually active, the correct response is: "No, I just lie there."
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
If intelligent people don’t start having babies as fast as the trash in “honey boo boo”, we’re headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
This recliner and I go way back.
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
I`ll never need a shrink as long as my wife keeps pointing out whats wrong with me...