Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
Oh, he uses you for sex? Stop bitching…Sex is awesome. Complain when he’s using you for laundry….. or a human shield.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don`t know Netflix exists."
Just another day of not being rich and famous.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk