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Don`t ask me for advice, my answer is always get them drunk.
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
Answer your phone, "come in" just to mess with people once in a while. Count how many seconds it takes for them to respond.
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...
Who can really hear themselves thinking?