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The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
Marriage. Because otherwise hating someone for turning the page of a newspaper too loudly would seem absurd
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*