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I`d try Taco Bell`s breakfast but I don`t start drinking that early.
My wife looks for signs Iām cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
* feels winds of change * realizes it`s just a hole in my shorts
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it`s the scientists that aren`t washing their hands?
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
It usually only takes about five minutes into any conversation Iām having before people start shaking their head and quoting the bible.
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.