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You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point.
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Until today, I thought American Horror Story was a book about marriage.
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with "According to the prophecy."
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
Never ask a Leper to "give you a hand", seriously, don`t........................
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don`t have to save for retirement..
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.