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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
I have the worst case of morning sickness. No I am not pregnant, my body just rejects mornings.
If you`re already in the cop car, I really can`t see how puking in it could make things any worse.
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
Ladies, wonder if he`s busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.
The odds of winning the lottery are 1 in 10 million. The odds of being the fastest sperm are 1 in 300 million. You`d think that with those odds, you`d win the lottery 30 times in your life.