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Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
Why do single people take advice from other single people? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
My number was 0...
Facebook is like a fridge full of old food you know what is in your fridge but still you go and check if it changed.
When in doubt, read Facebook Statuses, you`ll see you`re not the only crazy one around