Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ... I sent it anyways.
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
Me asking if you want anything from Starbucks is my way of telling you I am going to be very, very late
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I`ll hold."
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....