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I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
You`ve got to be twins. You`re too stupid to be one person.
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.