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Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
So I`m giving up drinking. Hard liquor. On Wednesdays. In June. Next year. (Maybe.)
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She`s now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don`t negotiate with terrorists!!
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?