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Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Iād drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
I`m never free but I`m available.
If you need Facebook to remind you it`s your wife`s birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
I wish that some of my coworkers were not allowed in the break room because those are the people I need a break from.
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?