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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
If you’re happy and you know it, you’re probably exhausting to be around.
If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
More people would drink responsibly if there was a brand of beer named Responsibly.
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!
I`m at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage