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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eggs
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
My wife`s credit cards were stolen last week. I haven`t reported it yet though...because so far, they are spending less than she was.
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.