Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks Iām not reading it.
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?
Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."
Twitter is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves.