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You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
I totally tricked this woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was put a ring on her finger and live with her for the rest of my life.
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
You`d think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now.
It`s amazing how many pedestrians confuse right-of-way with immortality.
Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
You never know how dirty a song`s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
At least a stalker is there for you.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.