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I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
Smooth move.........ExLax
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
A real ice cream truck would have melted by now.
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
Golf is finally starting to pay off. I just signed a contract with Nike for a large sum of money in return for agreeing never to be seen playing with any of their equipment.
Wow, that Macy`s parade is crazy! The Kanye West float just cut off Snoopy and said Woodstock can fly better!
Being human is expensive and exhausting.
I`m no magician but I can walk down the street and turn into a bar!