Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My top 5 exercises: -Jumping to conclusions -Flying off the handle -Carrying things too far -Dodging responsibilities -Pushing my luck
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with ugly ones...?
Question everything...Or should you?
Can`t they just make a "Poke infinity" button?
Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.