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¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes.
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
I like how the package for cotton swabs says don`t put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.