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Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
If at first you don`t succeed then you`re a loser...
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
Line forms here for spankings
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.
Running behind is my cardio.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.