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Pizza is my favorite winter activity
The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don`t have to hear what she`s talking about.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
Sometimes people try to expose what`s wrong with you, because they can`t handle what`s right about you.
I`ve started to make a fresh start in 2015, so if I owe you money, too bad.
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
Word for the day is asstard
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
"I understand your logic, but let`s try to look at this more emotionally." - women