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"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
Life`s too short for Salad..............
I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
Trying to remain humble but I’m the most famous person in my living room right now.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.