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You know something bad is about to happen when someone says "Hold my beer and watch this."
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
I slept with my best friend’s wife last night and now I feel terrible. …. ….. She must have given me a cold or something.
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
I would like to thank you people for letting me know its Friday every week. Its thoughts like this that keep me on Facebook.
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?