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If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
he who laughs last thinks slow
At 4-way stop, the first person to finish their text has the right of way right?
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
Pregnancy test confirmed me my worst fear.......I`m just fat
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
Still waiting on the "Once you go black, you`ll never go back" episode of Mythbusters.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?