Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?
I`ve grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine.
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
I’m not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.