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Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"
Lady at my gym is pedaling a stationary bike while eating chips right out of the bag. I`m hiring her as my personal trainer.
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
I can`t wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
Thanksgiving: "Let`s give thanks for the stuff we have." Black Friday: "Ok, let`s get all new stuff."
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around and THAT`S what it`s all about