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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
Saw a chameleon today. So I guess it`s safe to say it was a pretty sh!tty chameleon.
If they really want to increase breast awareness, why not try a National Motorboat Day?
Every so often I’ll listen to my wife talk non stop for hours at a time, to remind myself why people wander into traffic without looking.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
If I can see you, you`re invading my personal space.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."